viime talvena

Talvisäällä ei huvita asua yhtään missään.
Lunta ei mulle. Ei minun päähän räntää eikä pakkaslunta. Ei minun naamalle sohjoa suoraa huutoa. Ei kiitos.
En kahlaa kinoksissa sinun perässä. En varmasti. En laske mäkeä, en hiihdä enkä luistele. En sinun mieliksi enkä muutenkaan.

En tuijota tyhjää valkeeta peltoa enää ikinä,
en siivoa pihoja kun tulee lisää lunta lisää lunta.
Enemmän unta ja valkea peitto, kiehuva aurinko ja punajuurikeitto.

Vaan kaupungin valot auringosta, lämmin ilma kädellä ja silmillä.
Kiveä ja kiveä, kävelen paljain jaloin ja varon sirpaleita.
Puistossa vihreä, vesi valkoista, lämmin ajatus. Levänneet huulet, paljon puhetta.
Busseissa paljon ihmisiä, paljon naurua. Valuvia hedelmiä, kypsiä nuoria, valmiita kukkia. Lyhyet hameet. Kiharoita ja hiuksia. Makea juoma lasissa, hedelmien mehu, mahla huulilla. Suutele suutele suutele niitä jokaista. Käsi etsii kättä ja silmät etsii silmiä.

ja pimeä tulee tänne äkkiä.

lintuja ja laulua

Satuja ja halaamista ja lintuja tulee suusta ja laulu kainalosta.
Ja tänä päivänä kaikki mennään rantaan, mennään veteen.
Vaatteet päällä ja vesi tulee kaula-aukosta paidan alle, niin
kuin kylmät kädet koskettaa ihoa.

Juna ajaa läpi maailman aikatauluista jäljessä.
Laitan kädet paidan alle lämpiämään.

Linnut häkkiin, minä nauhoitan laulun. Paita repeää ja
sataa vettä niin kuin sinkittyjä nauloja.
Savusta tulee taivaalle pilvet.

It rains like sink nails.

Making myself at home / kaisa kotoutuu

I came back from Finland and I'm in Berlin again. I spend few days in the different offices to register, to get the right of abode (vapaan liikkuvuuden lupa tai jotain) and to register at the unemployment office. The lines are long and there's no air to breathe. I didn't know what papers I was supposed to have in these places, so I had to go back to all of them. To the registration office I went three times. And at the unemployment office I have to go always with someone who speaks german, they don't speak any english.

Then I got high fever and was sick watching movies and reading books for three days.

I watched animations:

Kiki's delivery service
Persepolis
Waltz with Bashir
Metropia

I read a novel, Among other things, I've taken up smoking by Aoibheann Sweeney

The book, Kiki and Persepolis all are stories of a girl moving away from home to a new city and starting their lives there. I could really identify with the characters and stories.

Waltz with Bashir and Metropia were both dark movies, first one told about the war in Lebanon and Metropia about the future we're heading towards when people has no power anymore.

Our washing machine is working, so I was making laundry yesterday and today and then some more.

" I love this feeling, being at home at night, no one is here, i'm on my own. The washing machine is growling and squealing cozy, the only one interrupting me. The candle smells like the Starbucks or the gift wrap -stores in the u.s. Vanilla makes everyone feel safe. I'm here to make sure the pipes won't leak, I'm here to write sleepy descriptions of the atmosphere with ink to color my index finger and thumb black or blue. It looks like the ink gets trough the skin."

I was writing with my ink pen ja söin lettuja:




This blog is going to be as unorganized as I am, without a clear subject. Many things happening, I remember to tell some of them to someone who might be interested. Maybe some pictures, maybe something else.

If someone want's good information about moving to Berlin in finnish, here you get it:
http://abenteuer-in-berlin.blogspot.com/2010/03/muutto-berliiniin-osa-23-byrokratiaa.html

greeting and thanks to Maiju! :)

When I get better, I'll go to the volkschule to get to the german classes, find the finnish seurakunta and try to get some baby-sitting jobs. And I'll start dancing!

Kaisa

sanding my room!

suddenly my room was full of sand. Dust from the wood. Hä? The wind from the desert came, i had the window open and my room was sanded.

No.

I had an ugly floor in my room. Julian had an ugly floor in his room. Julian wanted to make his room beautiful. I wanted too. We rented a machine because we wanted to sand our floors by ourselves. We wanted to varnish the floors by ourselves. Great. Doesn't sound like a hard thing. But it is !
I didn't think that the third day I live in Berlin, I would be scraping the red paint and finding the beautiful wood under it.



We found a working vacuum cleaner outside next to the trash bin
and met our neighbors, one is a dancer too.



Julian in the corner.





The floor is not ready yet. My hands are still shaking.
I come to Finland on Tuesday.
I have met many friends and have been busy all the time.
It takes a lot of time to travel here.

BERLIINIIN 2010 !

Nyt tästä runoilublogista tulee jotain muuta. Now this poetry blog is evolving into something else.

Päätin alkaa kirjoittamaan blogia. I decided to start to write a blog about me going to Berlin, and then what happens?

Ja Mitä sitten tapahtui? Vem ska tröstä Nyyti?

My trip, my move, my visit is happening because i have the moment in my life when i don’t HAVE TO be anywhere. Before it came an existential crisis I made a big decision to move to berlin, to do something and to start to build something around something.

Some things:

- Contact improvisation

This is my passion. It’s a form of new or post-modern or contemporary or whatever dance where people dance together. In Berlin I start an intensive workshop with Joerg Hassmann and Daniel Werner (http://www.dancecontact.de/de/index.htm). It starts on September and ends in March 2011.

- German language

I want to learn to speak it. I have studied German for 7 years !!! I got eximia from short German test in Gymnasium. I believe in myself that I would learn it quite fast and I need to test that.

- A flat

In the beginning of August I got a flat trough a friend, Jacob, who was worried if I’ll get a place to stay. All the other people were really relaxed and said I’ll find something; it’s easy in Berlin etc. But Jacob send me an e-mail address for Julian and I got a place to live in. The cool thing in the apartment is the extra room we are going to have empty for dancing and doing art and whatever. My roommates are both artists and it rhymes with moving to Berlin.

- The City of Berlin

I have visited there once, it was last spring when I already had thought about moving there. I travelled in New York, Stockholm, Göttingen, Tampere and Helsinki that spring and the nicest places I found in Berlin. It’s a huge city, but still relaxed. I felt like home there. And I got to choose. I don’t want to live in a place where everyone has to fight for their living, I’m lazy and I want to have time to meet people and do the things I want to do.

There is a catch and a challenge in moving to another country and it’s called The BYROCRACY. Just love it! I already got tricked and I have to go back to Finland to personally walk to KELA in Porvoo and take a paper and bring it to Työkkäri. This happens, because no one told me I couldn’t leave yet. Actually I asked a lady in Työkkäri and she said, “of course you can go”. If I would want to just hang out in Berlin for couple of months, it would be easier, but I’m trying to get the unemployment money and then maybe a work. In EU it’s possible to get the unemployment money from your own country to another country for three months. They haven’t made it too easy. I needed to be unemployed in Finland for one month first and then I can go to try to find a job in Europe.

When I’ll get to Berlin after coming to Finland again, I need to go to the unemployment office there and then it should be fine. Huh.

I take this as a ninja-challenge of how to survive in this man-made paper jungle.

The lady in Työkkäri said herself laughing that actually all this complications gives a lot of work for many people. I’m happy when I can give work to someone, wow.

Työtä työkkärille!

It is scary from Finland, from the forest of Ilomantsi, to plan your life in somewhere else. It doesn’t feel real, it’s more like a story, and it’s a movie or a book. I’ve felt people being bit doubtful. Of course most of the people are on my side.

I hope when I get there it stops feeling like a story someone else has heard or read. I want the reality-TV and arty music videos to be my life ! <3

Kaisa

Hey you lover,

Hey lover, you make me happy.

You have animated hands and toes.
Hey lover boy, stroke my back
with your fingers outlined with black.

Stroke my back one more time and
once again until were fine.

Hold your breathe
under the blankets,
kiss my chest and kiss my knee.

Hold your breathe
until you see that I’m going away,
but stay in my mouth like a taste
and like a sound that will be a song played out loud.

Hey lover, can I make you happy,
I have super wonder movie kiss.
Hey you lover I miss you already when you’re further away than this.

Sitä on niin sokea. sokea sokea sokea.

itselleen tai kaikille.

Aurinko sokaisee niin ei nää tai

on niin pimeä ei nää tai

niin täynnä ei tunne tai

tyhjä että kumisee.

Aurajoki

Aurinko paistaa minua

ja jokea, johon hukkui rakkaudesta rakas.

-Today one drunken man drowned in the Aura River when he tried to swim across to his girlfriend.-

Rakkaus hymyilee ja huutaa joen toisella puolella. Ambulanssimiehet raahaa kylmää rannalle.

Vesi on ruskeeta ja joet anarkiaa.

Flygmaskin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UriImR1mIo8

My final work solo from North Carelia College Outokumpu. I'm a dancer.

ilman näkemistä

a knife

i can't fly because you have the sky in your eyes and you can't fly because i can make you fall i can't fly because you have all the sky in your eyes and you can't fly because i can make you

i can't fly because you have the sky in your eyes and you can't fly because i can make you fall i can't fly because you have all the sky in your eyes and you can't fly because i can make you

who are

Who are the

Girls with curls in their hair

always missing something,

always shade on their eyes.

They are not here not there,

not today, never now.

Looking for tomorrow,

missing last weeks days,

reading books and writing more and

singing 'bout

girls with curls in their hair

always missing something

always shade on their eyes.

They are not here not there,

not today, never now.

Looking for tomorrow,

missing last weeks days,

reading books and writing more and

singing 'bout boys without names.

ehdottomuutta